Take this Are You Codependent quiz to find out. We update the quiz regularly and it’s the most accurate among the other quizzes.
TROUBLE COMMUNICATING FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, AND NEEDS
We were taught as youngsters that our wants were irrelevant. We struggle as adults to define and name our feelings, ideas and wants. We might not be sure how we feel about certain subjects. We may be unsure of what we require physically, emotionally, or mentally. We are scared to communicate our needs even when we can identify them. We’ve internalized the notion that doing so would be “selfish” or “mean,” therefore we frequently alter the truth in order to avoid offending others.
EXTREME SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHERS
Codependents believe it is our job to assist, repair, or heal others, even if doing so jeopardizes our own well-being. When others are in difficulty, many of us readily take on disproportionate levels of physical, financial, and emotional responsibilities, even if it leaves us feeling bitter and used.
Balanced partnerships, in which each partner undertakes equal duties, might make us feel uneasy or selfish. It can be difficult to comprehend loving someone we don’t have to “rescue.” We’re not sure how we’ll demonstrate our worth to this individual if we don’t have to save them.
Because we have an inflated sense of responsibility for others, we frequently take other people’s moods personally. If our loved ones are angry, nervous, or quiet, we may feel guilty. We believe it is our obligation to “cure” these bad moods.
Are You Codependent?
We gained a sense of self-worth as children by fixing, pleasing, or appeasing others. We automatically assume the position of the caregiver as adults and believe it is our job to please others. We’ve become so accustomed to sacrificing our own needs and feelings that putting our own sentiments first, or making our own decisions, causes us considerable anxiety. Also, you must try to play this Are You Codependent quiz.
We tread carefully around other people’s feelings. We may feel horribly bad for saying no, asserting ourselves, or raising a counter-argument. Many of us fear disappointing people at all costs, and instead of doing what we “want” to do for their sake, we do what we “should.” We work tirelessly to obtain permission at whatever cost.
Codependent people have shaky or non-existent boundaries. As children, the distinctions between our responsibilities and those of others were muddled. As adults, we fight to distinguish our feelings, thoughts and wants from those of others, and we strive to limit the extent to which we offer our things (including money, goods, and our own bodies) to others. We feel responsible for other people’s problems and/or expect others to take care of us. Even when we are being mistreated or abused, it is exceedingly difficult for us to say “No.”
About the quiz
DISBELIEF IN OURSELVES AND IN OTHERS
Individuals who are codependent lack an intrinsic sense of identity. We depend on our self-perception on how others perceive us and crave recognition and praise. We presume that others’ treatment of us, whether favorable or negative, is how we “deserve” to be treated because we have poor interpersonal boundaries. If we are in a toxic or violent relationship, this can lead to tremendous shame and self-loathing.
Because we lack a sense of ourselves, we seek stability in societal roles such as “mother,” “boss,” or “lover,” which provide a pre-built identity. We closely identify with external labels and experience existential anxiety in the absence of them. The urge to be noticed is crucial for many codependents. We urgently want others to see our true selves, yet we prevent them from doing so by presenting a false identity to the world.
As adult codependents, our lack of self-concept and related lack of self-love causes intense anxiety. We alleviate our worry by immersing ourselves in activities that provide us with an outward sense of meaning, particularly relationships. Codependents obsess about our relationships because they distract us from being alone with ourselves and provide a setting in which we can reproduce the meaning-making activities of our childhood, such as care-taking, self-sacrifice, and martyrdom.