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We all knew the editors would reserve the most explosive moment for the final segment after a month of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion episodes, but I’m sure we all walked away feeling less than enthused. But what did I expect? Erika suddenly dons a zoot suit, puffs a cigar, and sneers in the Good Fellas accent she’s been working on for the previous two seasons: “Yes, I did it, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat! And I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for the meddling L.A. Times writers, as well as you annoying Twitter users!” Did I expect her to sob over the suffering of innocent persons at the hands of a guy she married and cheerfully received millions of (supposedly) stolen monies from to keep Mikey living in a little cubby in a large closet in her mammoth Pasadena home…
To be honest, such a choice appears to be even less plausible than Erika admitting blame or simply apathy. I know I expected Erika to get caught in at least one lie during this final reunion episode because that’s what the reunion trailer hinted at when we first saw her stop dead in her tracks after mentioning a talk with Tom. However, we learn in this episode that Erika has now spoken to Tom several times, which she makes clear only happened after Tom was ruled unfit by the court. Also, you must try to play this Which Real Housewife Are You Quiz.
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Erica came prepared to this reunion, but in this episode, in particular, it felt like she had prepared for a series of questions with a series of replies written out on index cards… Then, on her way into the Reunion, she tripped over one of Rinna’s wigs, causing her index cards to become jumbled. Erika clearly “kept her pledge” to show up, as she so proudly claims, and she surely provided a few answers… However, there were never truly answers to the issues posed to her. The questions that people wanted to be answered in order to genuinely believe, not in Erika’s guilt or innocence, but in the idea that she cares about anyone other than herself.
Of course, caring for anyone other than oneself is not a requirement for being a Housewife – in fact, it is frequently the opposite! However, it may be a must for remaining engaged in this story in the future. Personally, I believe I’ll have to quote Crystal when Andy asks if she has any more questions for Erika: “I’m fine, I’m done.”
But, in case you want to hear yet another slightly different account of Tom’s vehicle disaster (I’m not joking! ), or sift through Erika’s cagey responses to see if you can elicit a few of your own, here’s what happened in the final episode of one of the wildest RHOBH seasons on record:
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Erika’s Response to the Crystal Question
I dislike it when reunion episodes begin by recreating the last five minutes of the previous show. But it was necessary in this case because, when Crystal inquired about Erika’s anger toward Tom, Erika proceeded to bite her head off, tell her she had no idea how Erika might be feeling, not go on to explain how she was feeling, and then hiss at her from across the couch: “Is that angry enough for you?” And Erika would continue to bring up Crystal’s simple question passive-aggressively for the rest of the episode.
Crystal’s questions, one of the only straight questions from the women that are emblematic of what people at home have been asking, and Erika’s response illustrate an aggravating loop that continues throughout the hour. Erika complains about being affected by every single doubt the women had during the season, despite the fact that they all knew her and could have asked her their doubts directly… When anyone asks Erika any direct questions (during the season and at the reunion) about where her anger is, where the money is, or why it was snowing in Pasadena… she eviscerates them for questioning her when they know her.
Erika claims at one point that she’s regarded as either too dispassionate or too emotional, so she can’t win — but the same can be said of anyone who tries to have any type of relationship with Erika right now that isn’t full reverence. You may probably guess who that individual is…