Take this Which Folklore Song Are You quiz to find out right now. We update the quiz regularly and it’s the most accurate among the other quizzes.
I had a dream last night that I was running through a thorny brush in a black forest, bloodying my legs in desperate search of a clearing in the trees. I awoke screaming and panting, only to realize it had not been a dream. I’d relocated permanently to the woods to listen to Taylor Swift’s eighth studio album folklore where it belonged: in the wilderness.
Swift announced on Thursday, July 23, that a surprise album and music video would be released that Friday at midnight. I’m ready to talk now, after a long night of listening, weeping, memeing, and baring my teeth at a puma that got into my meat supply. But first, a little housekeeping: It should be noted that all of the songs on Folklore, as well as the album title, are written in lowercase letters. The significance of this, as a lowercase girl myself, cannot be overstated.
A lowercase girl texts and posts in lowercase letters to appear relaxed; we are the polar opposite of thirst, having been terrorized by love lost so many times that we can’t bear to even appear to care enough to text you in proper capitalization. Lykke Li and Ariana Grande are two other well-known lowercase girls, and Swift and folklore stand on the shoulders of such cool giants. A lowercase girl album, like a lowercase girl, represents ambiguity, nonchalance, and, sadly, a Trojan horse of emotional terrorism. With that in mind, let us discuss each folklore song. Also, you must try to play this Which Folklore Song Are You quiz.
Which Folklore Song Are You?
“the 1”
We begin with an emotionally crushing slap in the face. Swift’s song “the 1” is a playful yet melancholy doom fantasy of what could’ve been, in which she muses, “it would’ve been fun, if you were the one.” Personally, I believe folklore is a PsyOp, and “the 1” is the first blow in a 16-piece psychological assault designed to break every person who hasn’t already been broken by quarantine. “the 1” is simply preparing you for your own annihilation.
“cardigan”
“Cardigan,” which was released with a music video at midnight Friday, is adorable and yet, once again, hurtful to me: “And when I felt like an old cardigan, under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.” Here’s what I think: “cardigan” isn’t just about hurting me personally; it’s also a lesbian response to Chris Evans’ cable-knit sweater in Knives Out. Last year, as a lesbian with no interest in Chris Evans, I felt very left out of the sweater debate, and no queer woman should EVER be left out of the sweater debate. Not only is “cardigan” the official sweater of bisexuality (they’re versatile), but it’s also the first of many queer-coded songs on folklore.
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“the last great american dynasty”
Some speculate that Swift’s reference to “the last great American dynasty” and a woman from St. Louis is a reference to Swift’s former BFF and rumored ex-girlfriend, Karlie Kloss, who was raised in St. Louis. There’s also the line, “Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever / flew in all her Bitch Pack friends from the city / filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names,” which was inspired by St. Louis-born debutante Rebekah Harkness, who married Standard Oil’s heir. However, you may recall this line from Swift’s “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” which was also rumored to be about her “friendship” break up with Kloss: “It was so nice throwing big parties / Jump into the pool from the balcony / Everyone swimming in a champagne sea.” Is there a link? Possibly. The most intriguing aspect of this song, in my opinion, is Swift’s refusal to capitalize “American” in the title, which is explicit proof that Taylor Swift is a communist. Marsha Blackburn is a jerk! Comrade, ACAB!!
“exile” (feat. Bon Iver)
Okay, what puzzles me is that the “B” and “I” in “feat. Bon Iver” is still capitalized, despite the fact that every other letter on the album is lowercase. This irritates me as a lowercase swiftie. good iver: Do you believe you can outperform Taylor? You’re better than her album theme, artistic vision, and ten Grammys combined? Do you think you’re better than all lowercase girls? “Exile” is heartfelt and cinematic in every way, but the presence of a man on any Taylor Swift album is startling. The added insult of Bon Iver’s open contempt for lowercases (also known as anti-capitalists) is enough to send me over the edge.
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