Take this Morbius Quiz to find out which character you are. We update the quiz regularly and it’s the most accurate among the other quizzes.
The title character of Columbia Pictures’ MCU-adjacent semi-horror film “Morbius,” Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto), is a “living vampire.” What does that mean, you may be wondering? Did the good doctor become a vampire without first dying? Yes, he fused his DNA with vampire bat DNA in an effort to cure the rare, fatal blood disease that has plagued him since childhood. (What disease, you may ask? You innocent, sweet child.) The fusion gave him super speed, super strength, echolocation abilities, and a hunger for blood that is only partially satisfied by the artificial substitute for which Morbius rejects a Nobel Prize at the start of the film. (Why? You’re again asking too many questions.) In a nutshell, he’s a science vampire. (So, what if Batman was a doctor? Wrong universe, but not far off.)
So the normal rules of vampirism don’t apply, right? Both yes and no. Morbius’ best friend turned the greatest adversary, Loxias Crown (Matt Smith), does use Morbius’ formula to turn himself into a vampire. But we don’t know if he died as a result of the accident. That sequence is missing from the film, presumably due to the numerous reshoots and delays that plagued “Morbius” on its way to the big screen. Other characters die and resurrect after tasting Morbius’ blood, a supernatural transformation that, as Morbius himself says at one point, has nothing to do with “science stuff.” In short, the nature of Morbius’ affliction is messy and contradictory, and it’s not worth delving into for more than a few seconds, a trait that pervades Daniel Espinosa’s misguided superhero/horror hybrid.
The script by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless, as well as Leto’s performance, contains all of the greatest metaphorical hits: Vampirism as a disease? Check. Vampirism as a drug? Yup. However, don’t expect much in terms of the actual development of these themes, as the film’s approach is to point and yell, “look over there!” whenever things become complicated. A superhero whose murders are the direct result of his efforts to help people presents a difficult moral quandary. But you’d never know it from this film, which flattens any intriguing elements of its title character’s story into clichéd grandstanding about the privileged few’s obligations to protect the unsuspecting many. Also, you will find out which character are you in this Morbius quiz.
Morbius Quiz
The plot’s basic premise is that Morbius—a celebrity scientist whose lab is funded by Crown’s family fortune—is conducting experiments that are ethically dubious enough that everyone involved believes it is best to pursue them in international waters. Given Crown’s vast wealth, this isn’t a problem. However, the aftermath of the experiment’s first human trial kills eight sailors, and their bodies are soon discovered on a ghost ship similar to the one that harbors Count Dracula at the start of Bram Stoker’s novel. (This is not “Morbius'” an only allusion to other, more coherent vampire stories: The Murnau is named after the director of “Nosferatu.”
Morbius, who, as you may have guessed, was turned into a “living vampire” during the experiment, is now ostensibly under FBI investigation. However, Agents Rodriguez (Al Madrigal) and Stroud (Tyrese Gibson) do a poor job of tracking him because he returns to his lab with his colleague and love interest Dr. Martine Bancroft (Adria Arjona) within hours of the crime. This is a front-page story with an increasing body count, and the prime suspect is going unnoticed by doing nothing more than pulling up the hood of his sweatshirt. But it doesn’t matter. Then there’s the more pressing question: Is the vampire stuff cool? Also, you must try to play this Morbius quiz.
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Unfortunately, no. “Morbius,” like most superhero movies, is rated PG-13, so the blood is limited to the sanguine juice boxes Morbius chugs throughout and the occasional rusty stain across a character’s throat. Although prosthetic artists are listed in the credits, their contributions are difficult to discern among the heavy-handed CGI. “Morbius” is not a Marvel Cinematic Universe film: It’s part of the “Spider-Verse,” and it’s from the same studio as “Spider-Man: No Way Home.” But, like the MCU, it has an Achilles’ heel in that you can’t tell what’s going on in any of the film’s action sequences.
If it’s not the wavy, sketchy CGI trails that follow in Morbius’ wake—imagine a cross between psychedelic tracers and the soot creatures from “My Neighbor Totoro”—it’s those damn bats. To be clear, earlier action sequences aren’t much better. The film’s climactic battle, however, is nearly impossible to follow due to a swarm of vampire bats that swoop in at the last minute to help Morbius clean up the bloodthirsty mess he’s made. Espinosa appears to be aware that it is difficult to understand what is going on, pausing for a midair slow-motion shot in nearly every action sequence. The issue is that dwelling on these moments reveals how obviously phony they are.
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