Respond to these rapid questions in our Bad Boys For Life quiz and we will tell you which Bad Boys For Life character you are. Play it now.
You’d have to be a complete moron to think Sony thought “Bad Boys For Life” was a decent movie. It’s coming out right in the midst of the cinematic wasteland that is January, the month where bad movies go to die quietly, never to be heard from again. Even the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air cartoon “Spies in Disguise” was published during the Oscar season. You’d think that the third installment of a hit franchise starring Will Smith and Martin Lawrence as reckless cops equipped with comedic banter and oodles of collateral damage would get a little more release-date love. After all, its predecessors, both directed by Michael Bay and published in April and July, respectively. Bay’s conspicuous absence reinforced my suspicions that the studio had little confidence in this film.
Surprisingly, “Bad Boys For Life” isn’t nearly as bad as its opening day program suggests. It is the best of the three pictures, serving as a sort of antidote to the previous ones. Unlike the original, this one has some depth in its female characters; unlike the second, it isn’t an extremely vile mash-up of “Freebie and the Bean” and “Scarface” that felt like it ran for 600 hours. This time, Detectives Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) and Mike Lowery (Will Smith) are more conscious of how much collateral damage they cause, even if the latter must be told on a regular basis to temper his carnage. I didn’t believe the “kinder, gentler Bad Boys” schtick for a second, but that didn’t make me bored. When the climax begins to pile telenovela-level melodrama on top of the explosions and gunplay while openly stealing ideas from “Gemini Man,” I have to appreciate the audacity of those decisions.
The film begins with that fast-paced Porsche scene from the trailer, with Mike and Marcus showing their usual disregard for innocent people while on the trail of the latest Miami criminal. All of the stunts were done to get Marcus to the hospital for the arrival of his granddaughter. Marcus reconsiders his law enforcement job as a grandfather, or “Pop-Pop,” as he refers to himself. He has a wife and family, unlike his hothead partner, and wishes to spend more time with them rather than the hundreds of criminals he’s been shooting. Marcus realizes he’s “getting too old for this shit,” in the words of a far better buddy police film. Mike makes an attempt to change his opinion.
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Meanwhile, something is percolating in Mexico, and I mean that literally. Isabel Aretas (Kate del Castillo), a self-proclaimed bruja, performs a gruesome “Silence of the Lambs”-style prison breakout in order to reunite with her son Armando. (Jacob Scipio). It’s all part of a plot to assassinate those responsible for Isabel’s imprisonment and her husband’s death. Det. Lowery is one of those unlucky people, and Isabel orders her son to murder him last “so he can suffer.” Castillo plays her part with such toughness that I wish she’d just gone after her enemies herself, but that whole witch character trait had me worried that “Bad Boys for Life” would do for brujera what Steven Seagal’s “Marked for Death” did for voodoo.
Bad Boys For Life Quiz
Armando executes his mother’s desires and enemies while dressed in “Gemini Man” motorcycle gear. He deviates from her plan, however, by going after Mike first. The sequences that follow this assault try to imbue the film with genuine emotional stakes, and Lawrence deserves credit for convincingly navigating dramatic scenes. This plot development is used by screenwriters Chris Bremner, Peter Craig, and Joe Carnahan to sneakily insert a reason for the aforementioned minimization of collateral damage in the action sequences, though rest assured, there is still enough violence for a rather hard-R classification.
Also, you will find out which character are you in this Bad Boys For Life quiz.
Fans of the series will notice a few Easter eggs scattered throughout. My audience roared with laughter at one that, sadly, reminded me of one of the worst sequences in “Bad Boys II.” Several cast members return despite the 25-year gap between this picture and the original. In addition to Smith and Lawrence, the always-welcome Joe Pantoliano returns as Captain Howard, the yelling police chief whose agita is exacerbated by his finest cops’ recklessness. He’s hilarious, as is Lawrence, who discovers new notes in the screen persona he’s been playing since “House Party.”
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Lest I forget, like so many other recent action films starring older actors, this film features a group of new-fangled youths whose understanding of computers clashes with their elders’ more hands-on approach. AMMO is a new squad led by Mike’s ex-girlfriend Rita (Paola Nuez) and starring Vanessa Hudgens from “High School Musical” and “Spring Breakers.” The old school cops mock their use of drones and hacking, so it’s only a matter of time before AMMO is forced to use actual ammo to do their duties. Rita and Mike create some believable rom-com sparks while AMMO prepares for battle.
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Perhaps the only surprise in “Bad Boys For Life” is its wish to immerse us in Mike and Marcus’ emotional stakes. Not in the superficial, buddy-buddy, bromantic way you’d expect, but in a genuinely earnest manner that’s a little off-putting when you consider how Bay’s films avoid any semblance of warmth. Dare I say that directors Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah take a page from the “old man’s lament” playbook that boosted “Pain and Glory” and “The Irishman,” and that Smith and Lawrence give it their all to carry it off? These attempts to completely humanize Mike and Marcus elicited a “too much, too little, too late” reaction from me, but your mileage may differ. At the very least, I admired the attempt.
What I didn’t like was the ridiculous, Marvel-style post-credits scene that teases “Bad Boys 4: The Return of Thanos” or something. What about Mike and Marcus’s “one last time” discussion? This time, let alone the next, was unnecessary. But I’m getting ahead of myself. While I wouldn’t suggest this one, I’ll let you in on a little secret: if it were on cable at 3 a.m., I’d watch it.
For more personality quizzes check this: Breeding Difficulty Quiz.
