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Since the game’s release on Facebook, I have played it as an adult lady. You can judge me if you want, but now that “The Angry Birds Movie” has finally here, the time that was squandered has at least slightly paid off.
I slingshot flightless birds of different forms, colors, and special fighting abilities at snorting green pigs in weekly competitions with strangers. Bomb (played by Danny McBride in the movie) would be my choice if you asked me which bird I preferred because, well, explosives. And whenever my standing drops from the gold league to the silver league, I lose it.
Do I care about the characters or backstories of the birds? Actually, no. I really want these enraged birds to crash into the annoying little green porkers and make a killing. Although it is short-lived, my engagement with this game is probably the longest I’ve had with a game since I spent the entire summer attempting to defeat my friend Angela at lawn darts.
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Not all of “The Angry Birds Movie” is a complete dud. The animation is alright, and I did chuckle out loud once when Bomb’s poem made the association between “hate” and “detonate.” In spite of the feverish pandemonium, there is a surplus of derivative material that serves as an attempt to hide the lack of original or even hilarious material. Instead of simply catapulting myriad puns, bathroom-related jokes and a hodgepodge of soundtrack songs (a Limp Bizkit cover of The Who’s somber “Behind Blue Eyes” and Tone-Loc’s sexy “Wild Thing” alongside Demi Lovato’s sprightly rendition of “I Will Survive” and a brand-new Blake Shelton hoedown number) onto the screen, the makers of this glorified promotion for a phone app should have followed the “let’s-go-crazy” model set forth by “The Lego Movie.”
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The directors opt for a story that is weighed down by cliches lifted from far better movies rather than bringing the Angry Birds premise to surreal heights of lunatic creativity. In the Scrat-inspired start, our protagonist Red (Jason Sudeikis, representing the game’s least effective pig attacker) rushes through a jungle on Bird Island while carrying an egg-shaped device that holds a cake and facing obstacles that cause physical harm. He turns out to be a hired party clown with a temper who is late delivering the “hatchday” goodie. When his clients aren’t happy, he becomes ferociously angry. When the police are called, they sentence him to—you guessed it—an anger management class.
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There he meets Terence, the game’s chubby red bird who mostly provokes guttural replies a la Lurch from “The Addams Family” TV show, and Bomb, a swift big-beaked yellow bird (Josh Gad aka Olaf the Snowman from “Frozen”) and Chuck. The only clever thing about “The Angry Bird Movie” is that Sean Penn, an actor known for his explosive temper tantrums, is lending his voice to this spherical pile of melancholy. The game’s butt-bombing white bird Matilda (Maya Rudolph), a serene Zen-like instructor who will eventually channel her inner warrior, is also introduced. She is the game’s token lead female character.
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Meanwhile, we discover that Red was the target of brutal teasing as a child, much of it directed at his large, bushy black eyebrows, a la Eugene Levy. His pessimistic outlook makes him stand out among the happy group of island residents, who reject him as an outsider. When a couple of pigs, the slick-talking Leonard (Bill Hader) and his piglet-sized sidekick Ross (Tony Hale), come aboard a boat with the appearance of a pirate, his mistrust reaches new heights. Red becomes Chicken Little when he understands the pigs plan to steal their eggs—in other words, their children—while the other birds accept the pigs’ offer of friendship. However, nobody else is noticing since they are having too much fun partying with the intruders.
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That is a fairly somber idea to include in the middle of a family-friendly film. A humorous lowlight involving Mighty Eagle (Peter Dinklage), a faded mythical character and former hero, may be even more alarming. He has an unfair reputation for brilliance and is a “Wizard of Oz” type. His most memorable contribution was a pretty unsettling portrayal of the elderly bird urinating into a lake where Bomb and Chuck had just been splashing about, much to their chagrin.
The conclusion is a chaotic free-for-all that essentially mimics the actual game. The sheer volume of weak wordplay jokes aimed at the audience, though, is the actual attack. Red calls a fish a “bottom feeder” when he attaches himself to his backside. Red asks, “Have you ever thought of bird control?” when a crosswalk is blocked by an endless line of hatchlings. There are also jokes that are casually made: A ham radio, a sign for “free-rage chicken,” a poster for Kevin Bacon in “Hamlet,” a book titled “50 Shades of Green,” a pig version of the twin girls from “The Shining,” the all-too-expected “Green Ham and Eggs” joke, and a side reference to Jon Hamm.
Though the birds are ultimately won over by Red and embrace his get-mad stance as they finally fight back, “The Angry Birds Movie” did make me question if something deeper was intended. Is the movie trying to make fury into what “Inside Out” made sadness? In other words, give youngsters permission to feel the emotion? Maybe, particularly since a scene that appeared at the conclusion hinted a sequel would be conceivable. That actually makes me angry right now.